Thinkin' Thursdays

Hottie and I had reservations at this 5 star restaurant the night following out return home to Toronto. Now this place is KNOWN for it's delicacy type specialties; frog legs, alligator, beaver, eel, the list is extensive. They're also known for having the best fresh fish.
Hottie and I discussed our possible menu choices for a over a week. During one of our discussions I was warned by Hottie about ordering fish. Hottie hates the smell of fish; cooked or not.
At home the only way I can make my favorite type of fish, salmon, is on the bbq and I must eat it outside on the deck. I usually don't bitch ... ummm ... eating "tuna" is more important to me than eating salmon. Nuff' said.

That night at the restaurant I'm again warned about ordering fish. Hottie trys to sway me into ordering a delicacy. I'm not having it. I order a trio of fresh fish.
Right there, in the middle of the restaurant, Hottie and I have words.
She says things like "respect me, I asked nicely, blah blah, and don't plan on getting laid tonight".
I respond by saying things like "I do respect you, plug your nose, you're over-reacting, and that's why I fucked you this morning".
Everyone sat motionless watching and listening to us.
So my question for you mafia bitches ...

Would you rather

Deal with the smell of the fish

or

Put your partner in her place AT the restaurant

Who booked this shit?

After our rafting trip we ordered take out, grabbed a 12 pack of beer, and headed back to the rental house. I think we both passed out after eating and drinking a beer ... yes a single beer. I slept sound until that fucking alarm rang; good thing it wasn't my own personal alarm or it would have been thrown out the window.

Again I found myself up at 6am getting ready to go play in the ice fucking cold river. Who the fuck booked this trip anyway?!? That would be Hottie! Good thing she is sexy, excellent in bed, and does laundry because I probably would have traded her ass in that morning.

This time we managed to look decent before showing our faces in public.

Arrived at the kayaking company on time, with coffee in hand, and hangover free. A much better start. Well it was a better start until they explained we would be wearing a skirt. Jude did a beautiful job of explaining the kayak skirt in her post. The kayak skirt keeps your ass in the kayak if you happen to flip over in the river. It's made of a rubbery material and literally makes a sucking sound when placing it around the open seat of the kayak.

Hottie and I have both been kayaking many times, but nothing like we would be experiencing this day. We did about an hour of training in the river practicing flipping the kayak over, and over, and over, and over. The instructors/guides really wanted to us to learn how to flip the kayak back over in the upright position instead of pulling the cord to release us from the kayak. There is nothing fun about ice cold river water running up your nose over and over again.

We finally started down river. The first set of rapids went ok, not great, but ok. The second set of rapids flipped my kayak over and I freaked out!!! Luckily the kayak then flipped back upright. I'm certain the instructor/guide saw the terror in my eyes so he immediately paddled over to me. He of course talked me into continuing down river, saying it will get easier with each rapid. I should have killed him when I had the chance ... he lied!!!!!

Hottie got flipped on the 4th or 5th rapid, but of course, she didn't freak out and was able to flip herself back over. She LOVED every minute of our kayak trip.

I believe I got flipped on every rapid ... Hottie will tell you differently. I've decided I won't be joining any white water kayaking groups anytime soon.

When we finally got back to the rental house, which was roughly around 7pm, I wasn't in the mood to do anything but sleep!! Upon returning to Toronto my friends asked how Wisconson was, I told them "The river beat my ass, I slept, the river beat my ass again, and I slept again".



Hottie isn't booking our next vacation! I am!



********


Happy Canada Day!!!!

Wet suited

Time zooms by, especially when on vacation. It seems like just the other day Hottie and I boarded the flight to Wisconsin ... yet come tomorrow it will have been two weeks ago!

We traveled to the Wisconsin Dells. If you haven't been I strongly advise you visit sometime. It.Was.Fucking.Amazing. We booked ourselves for white water rafting and white water kayaking.

Wednesday night when we arrived we had dinner and drinks at Sharkys bar n grill. It was a great place to sit and people watch ... and the drinks were fab. Thankfully it wasn't far from the house we rented because we ended up crunk! I regretted my "lets have drinks!" decision when the alarm rang at 6am.

Hottie and I attempted to put ourselves together; we realized we seriously failed upon reviewing the pictures from that morning. We soon arrived at the rafting company and suited up in these not-so-sexy-wetsuits. No you can't have pictures.
You know, being crunk at 7am while trying to properly listen to the safety demonstration was damn difficult! Luckily the raft guide understood our crunk-lesbian-lingo otherwise our asses would still be in the river awaiting rescue.

So, all the rafters board this bus, an old school bus that was top loaded with 4 rafts. Guess what we had to do once we arrived at the river? Uh huh ... get the fucking rafts down. Thankfully all the men took to the task and within minutes all the rafts were down.

Time to hop in the raft ... I place one foot in the river to balance myself and an immediate sensation of ice fucking cold water sends shivers up my back. WTF ... the river is ice cold ... in June! My mind floods with thoughts of "don't fall out, don't fall out, don't fall out or you'll freeze your tits off". My face must have been priceless because Hottie was laughing. I thought about throwing her ass in, however, it was only day one of our vacation and there would be other opportunities.
It took a bit to get everyone loaded into the rafts, set with oars, and ready to float off into the sun. We were floating down the river at a slow relaxing pace ... and not 2 minutes later all of us spot the first set of rapids. Well.Fuck.Me.Stupid. Those rapids look like class 3 ... and they were!!! All four rafts made it through the first rapids with all people still aboard.
Afuckingmazing! I lost count of the number of rapids we encountered.

It was a blast. No one fell out. I didn't hit Hottie over the head with my oar. And I didn't even piss my pants from fear. It was a great day.

That night ... I hurt in places I never knew existed.

Soooo Tired

There are many cities that have their Parade Parade on Saturday ... Toronto really should consider that for next year. I'm so fucking tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I would have taken today off to recoup, however, responsibility of being the VP includes working when I don't want to.
Fuck this shit of being important, I need a clone.


While I was on vacation I enjoyed ...

white water kayaking
states shopping
white water rafting
glbt film festival
guided atv tour
roller coasters
water park slides
5 star restaurant
dyke march
2009 pride parade


I will blog in detail about each adventure ... just not today.
Next vacation in 14 days. Yes I am crazy.

Thinkin' Thursday

Hell yes I'm still on vacation, and I'm sorry I haven't been around to blog, but I leave you with today's Thinkin' Thursday. Enjoy!

Would you rather

Have a finger missing

or

Have an extra toe

Pride 09 - Oh yeah!

Toronto Pride Week 2009

Official Launch Party: Friday, June 19th, 2009
The Flag Raising Ceremony at City Hall: Monday, June 22nd, 2009
Global Human Rights for Queers: Film Screening : Monday, June 22rd, 2009
Pride Gala & Awards Dinner: Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
The Community Fair & Marketplace: Saturday, June 27th and Sunday, June 28th, 2009
Eight live Entertainment Stages over three days - Friday, June 26th to Sunday, June 28th, 2009
Family Pride: Saturday, June 27th and Sunday, June 28th, 2009
The Dyke March: Saturday, June 27th, 2009
The spectacular Pride Parade on Sunday, June 28th, 2009



I shall be on vacation for the next week my mafia bitches, but I leave you with a task, a very important task. Annoy the ever loving shit out of every fucktard you encounter and report back to me with the juicy details. Now go my bitches, make me proud!

Have a fantastic weekend everyone!!

Thinkin' Thursday

Would you rather:

Spend the next year repeating 8th grade (at your current age)

or

Spend a month in jail for a crime you did not commit

She didn't!

I woke up this morning to find my bag packed. Hottie.Packed.My.Bag.

My first thought .. What the hell!!

My second thought .. Sweeeeeett!! Now I don't have to do it.

My final thought, after I looked through my bag .. Fer fucks sake!! She packed everything I would have, get her out of my head!!

Solo

Attention Mafia Bitches

I have another request for the day .. I know I know .. two in one day?? Yes I'm a greedy demanding bitch, but damnit, do what I say. Mmmkay?

Solo needs another follower, or two, ok maybe even three.

Solo Homo

Go visit her! Oh and click the follow link too!



(I think I should start charging for advertising blogs on my blog ... or maybe demanding gifts, like lap dances and naked photos ... ok maybe not Hottie would kick my ass)

Hottie's Day

Happy Birthday Hottie!!!

It's a bitch getting old, isn't it babe? Of course this isn't your 39th birthday, it's your 29th birthday. *wink wink*

I had a fabulous time this weekend. I'm still shocked you said yes when I asked you to move in with me! I'm a very lucky woman to have you in my life, and I can only hope I make you as happy as you make me.

Our vacation together starts Thursday and I look forward to spending every minute of it with you. I promise not to throw you out of the raft while going down the river. I promise to TRY and not puke on you when we ride the roller coasters. I promise not to leave you in the woods, lost and confused, when we ride ATV's. I promise not to order fish at the 5 star restaurant, even though it would be superb, because I respect that you seriously dislike the smell of fish. Most importantly, I promise to enjoy every inch of your body ... err ... I mean ... I promise to give you my full attention the entire time.

You're amazing babe, and I love you.

Dawg